I've started a new site... just for the hell of it

it's http://www.xanga.com/RageMore_kitten (RageMore_kitten)

shoot me

david and my parents are still fighting but now it's worse because it's causing so much stress that david and i are fighting and my parents are angry with me too, a little. i feel like i'm being ripped apart from every angle.  i just want to take paige and run away to a happy place where there is no money, anger, jealousy.... blah. or i want life to be happy, everyone needs to be happy... grr... they all need to shut up and say "omg i am thankful to be alive and look at all the wonderful things in my life" and stop being angry at everyone and thing.

my halloween sucked pretty much. david wouldn't take me to my parents house so they could see paige, eww... we went trick or treating with our friends dave and gena and their kids, which was fun but dave got all annoying because he doesn't like being like out and dealing with his own kids, which bugs the shit out of me.  then we mwt up with david's mom, sister and our niece jordan who is 6 monthes old, and his mom totally took over trick of treating "no! we aren't going to that house"  sometimes i hate his mom... ok, not so much hate.

so it's been 7 weeks since i had my paige pie and i still don't feel 100%.  i went back to work because we need the money and i think i may be starting to resent david for that, like because he won't go out and get a better job so we wouldn't be hurting so bad.  i like working but i miss paige so much during the day and i'm still bleeding... yeah, 7 weeks and i'm still bleeding but i can't see my ob because the office is still closed from the hurricane, i'm still getting a lot of pressure and cramping too, especially when i've been standing for a little while.  david has been mentioning sex a lot too and we've tried (sooner than i should have because he said at the least 6 weeks) and it is physically impossible still, it just won't ... fit i feel to narrow and short... i know way way too much information i'm sorry but i need to get this out. david wants to so bad and it just won't happen and it hurts like i'm giving birth all over again, absolutly no pleasure at all... just intense, stabbing, sharp pain. blah

christmas is coming, david and i are going to babies r us (they just opened one here, yay!) tomorrow to start budgeting, like planning what to get her and thinking about money.

quick update

hurricane wilma ate my back porch and wouldn't let erin come down to visit paige

david and my parents got into a huge fight over us not staying in tampa with them for the storm... they promise to never speak to him again and same for him

we learned my kitten hates other kittens during the hurricane, she beat the crap out of david's mom's 2 little kitties... it was kinda funny watching her slide them across the tile floor with one swipe.

let's see what else... oh paige is now too tall for 0-3 month clothes and she likes to smile at lights and ceiling fans.. we are working on smiling at people, lol... and she is going to be a pink and black leopard for halloween tomorrow

i'm back to work

meow... that's it

WHIMPER!

David and I had a fight today.  It was about the topic of my last post.  I asked him to do something and he bitched about how little I do while he is at work and then I got sad and started begging for him to love me again and that made him more angry, saying I was acting like a beaten dog not an adult human.  It blew hardcore.

I don't want to talk about that anymore... here is good news.  WB6, the WB station here had a contest to win Halloween Horror Nights tickets and I entered and I WON 2 TICKETS!  WOO-HOO! AND I'M BEING ENTERED INTO THE DRAWING FOR A VIP TRIP FOR 4 FOR A WEEKEND.  I don't even care about the drawing for the grand prize, I'm so fucking excited I won the ticktes.  I've never won a contest before, it's so cool!  YAY!!